A husband and father takes responsibility for his family's well-being. Providing for his family means that a man will have to work and work hard. Providing comes with great difficulty and at great cost to the provider. But a husband and father must also take responsibility for his family's spiritual well-being. He must provide food, drink, protection and shelter of a different kind.
Just as opposition comes to any man trying to work hard and provide, so also if any man stands as the spiritual leader of his family and home he can expect opposition. Of course, the lazy worker has nothing to give to his family since he has received nothing. And the lazy spiritual leader has nothing to give to his family since he has received nothing. As far as I'm concerned, the temporal provisions that my family needs are incredibly important, but their spiritual needs are infinitely more important. This conviction does not excuse me, though, or even inhibit me from providing the earthly things they need to live and grow. In fact, how I care for my family's natural needs is a sign of how important their spiritual needs are to me. To forfeit one of the two because of laziness is shameful on my part. We must do the natural and spiritual things that fall to us to do as the natural and spiritual leaders of our families. But I do think that since the spiritual battle we face is ultimately a battle for our heart, for our soul, for our eternal living, that it is the more important and intense battle. Questions: What am I doing to defend the heart of my wife and the hearts of my children? What am I doing to provide for her heart and their hearts? The man, as husband and father, leads the family. He is the representative of his family before God and he is the representative of God before his family. God will hold the husband and father responsible for how he leads, provides, and protects his family. God will also hold him responsible for how he reflects Him to his wife and children. Here is the double call of duty for each head of home: You are responsible FOR them as a man of God and disciple of Jesus Christ AND you are responsible TO them in that you must show them Christ in every circumstance.
Though there are countless circumstances that a godly man will have to lead his family into, through and out of, here are four things that have helped me lead my family through spiritual warfare:
1. Food - every soldier needs to eat. (Matthew 4:4) A man who does not eat has no energy or strength for the fight. Husband/Father, you need to read and teach the Bible to your kids. Everyday. You eat everyday. Would you not provide food for your wife and kids everyday?! They cannot live on your words alone. They need God's word. Understand that unless you feed your soul first you will not have anything to feed their souls with! Read it, pray it and meditate on it - ask God to keep the sweet taste of it in your mouth. (Psalm 119:103) Then, take the time to feed and teach your family. Explain it to them. Let them ask questions. You are providing the best and richest food for them!
2. Weapon - every soldier needs a weapon. (Ephesians 6:17) Paul says that our primary weapon is the Sword of the Spirit. This is the Word of God. His Word is truth. Satan speaks lies and darkness. Combat him with truth and light. Give God opportunity to speak into the minds and hearts of your family through speaking His word to them. Here is power. Here is life. The Word of God also searches your heart and separates your thoughts from His. (Hebrews 4:12) This is important. His Word will keep you focused and help you to see where your thoughts, words and actions might be wrong and detrimental to your family in this critical moment.
3. Discipline - every soldier needs to stay disciplined. One of the hardest things to do, is to consistently teach your kids the "ropes" day in and day out. You're teaching them about work, attitude, relationships, etc. This takes a lot of energy every day! So when warfare comes, we tend to stop caring about the daily disciplines of our home and life. We can stop caring about the little things that we otherwise would address, highlight and correct. This lack of discipline on our part as the leader will result in chaos. You won't be able to think straight, manage your time, control your emotions and above all pray for help and direction. Discipline is a demonstration of your love for your children. (Proverbs 13:24) As hard as it is, keep doing what you're doing. And don't forget your daily disciplines too. Go to bed as normal. Get up as usual, get your coffee, sit in your favorite chair and pray. Self-control is critical in these times. Don't get over run. (Proverbs 25:28)
4. Joy - every soldier needs downtime. I recently felt that the weight of the battle was so heavy and the seriousness of the battle was so real to me that I stopped having fun. So I took the kids and we did something fun. What a difference it made! Remember, because you're the head of the family you're going to get hit the hardest! But your wife and children will see the effects of this on you and they will feel it. For their sake, find something fun to do. Go get ice cream or see a movie. Take your wife out to dinner. Joy is often the first thing to go in battle. Yet, we are called to endure and be patient with joy. (Colossians 1:11)
We don't fight alone. He stands behind us to strengthen us as we strengthen our family. He stands with us to encourage us as we encourage our family. He goes before us to lead us as we go before and lead our family.
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